Making decisions is possibly the hardest thing I ever do.
The less decisions I have to make, the happier I find myself.
Of course, this does not apply to areas of life where decision making is either a team effort (like relationships), or part of my responsibilities (like career tasks).
We have all committed to doing things we were not entirely enthusiastic about, or over-committing to a vast amount of things that are mediocre. Life is too short to be consumed by the mediocre.
Say yes to less, say yes to better; this is the way to go.
If I have to make a decision about something in life, I question how the options make me feel:
If I think about the choices and think: “WOW! This is going to be absolutely brilliant! I am looking forward to this!” – then my answer is Yes!
If your answer is anything less than “HELL YEAH!”, then say No!
Oh, Great! But How Do You Apply This Philosophy?
The Simple (yet essential) law of “Hell Yes or No” can be applied to all areas of life.
Relationships: If there is a tangible ambiguous area in a relationship where one person seems to have stronger feelings than the other, its not a Hell Yes. Get out.
There may be a lot of “dating advise” about this area of life that tells you to do ‘X’, do ‘Y’, text her this, say that… If you have to convince her, its not a Hell Yes, its a No!
For those who play “hard to get”, you think she’s into you, you got her number but she hardly replies but sometimes still flirts, its not a Hell Yes! Its a No! Get out!
The same applies the other way around as well, if you don’t seem totally enthusiastic to date or be with someone, don’t “try and make it work” its a No.
Following this “law” allows you to only be with and spend time with someone you truly have amazing feelings about. The biggest problem with relationships is we spend too much time trying to make it work with people who don’t get us excited about their company, that we miss opportunities and time to be with the people that really give us that feeling of “HELL YEAH! I want to be with this person!”
The same would apply with all kinds of relationships, like friendships: If your so-called friends don’t seem as enthusiastic to hang out and keep making excuses (that, of course, do not seem valid) then its not a Hell Yeah! its a No!
However, I stress the idea of “valid” excuses. I recently started a new career (Wobble) and moved to an entirely new City (Cape Town) which does not give me all the time in the world that I wish I had for friends (but I do not regret the move and new career). These life events cause me to give them excuses of getting settled, being busy, and most commonly lately: being extremely exhausted (but a good exhausted). This is not a No, but its a postponed Hell Yes for a later time. It’s Allowed.
Careers and Work: I spent five awesome years working at a Sage owned company, Sage Alchemex as their Web Developer for the Marketing team. It had its ups and downs but I did love it and had many Hell Yeah moments with cool projects and campaigns to work on.
After 5 years, I fell in-love (or in Hell Yeah!) with two beautiful things –
- Cape Town – one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
- Jade, My Girlfriend – the biggest HELL YEAH currently in my life.
Jade lives in Cape Town, which means I can live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, while being with one of the best people I have ever met. A Double Hell Yeah… But, there was one big problem – I needed a career that could sustain me while giving me a better or equivalent Hell Yeah that my Job at Sage did.
I had quite a few Job offers (after a dry spell during my searches) but nothing gave me a feeling of Hell Yes!
That was until I found Wobble (cool name, for a cool place to work at – while we are on the topic of the word “work”, I despise the term for making a living doing things you really love and enjoy, but until I find a better word…) – It was an instant Hell Yeah!
Now, I am living in Cape Town with Jade and enjoying an awesome career with Wobble.
If I had not had my rule of Hell Yeah or No, I would have possibly not been in Cape Town, not had an awesome career, and not been with an awesome person like Jade. I would have settled for mediocre – Never settle for anything less than HELL YES!
Everyday Life: Relationships and Careers are a really big part of our lives, so its really easy giving examples of how this law has been a huge asset to a more fulfilling life. But life is not made up of a few major things, its made up of a lot of small everyday things that make life happy and satisfying.
If going out to that movie, or with those people, or that event, or that restaurant does not make you go HELL YEAH! and look forward to the day, then its a No! Don’t do any of it, find the things and people that make you excited for your day.
Having a lot of days that are filled with the things that excite you is what builds a fulfilling life. Do the things you love, repeatedly.
Caveats: There will be those (there will always be “those”) that will point at the idealist nature of the Law of Hell Yeah and say things like:
“We have to end up doing things in life that we don’t always want to do”
“It is not always possible to always do only the things we are excited about, everyday”
…and they won’t be wrong, but that’s no reason to not to try. At first, it will be difficult finding, doing, and keeping only the things in life that make us go “HELL YEAH!” but you will begin to notice that the more often you do it, the more things you find that you can do it for, and eventually you will have days that are filled more with “Hell Yeah” than “Meh”.
What are the things that you’ve done recently that made you go “HELL YES!“?