Poem: If They Dusted Your Heart for Fingerprints

If they dusted your heart for fingerprints, would they find mine?
Would they find my DNA upon your lips left behind from our last goodbye kiss?
Would historians ever be able to find evidence that I loved you?
That you Loved Me? That you. owned. me…

I have tried not loving you
I have tried hating you
I have tried repeating ‘I love you’ over and over again
hoping that eventually it will lose its meaning…
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
…but all I ended up with was a stutter that scratched its way
towards my throat of I-I-I-I- Love you…
as if each word dragged itself out a little longer, to be felt a little deeper…

I tried crucifying my love for you…
I nailed its gentle hands upon a cross and hung it upside down,
but eternity passed and my love hung there, still alive,
still breathing, with broken heart strings bleeding the blues,
Love… it seems was immortal…
So I tied love up with silver chains and laid it in a mahogany casket,
sunk it six feet into the ground burying it alive amongst its shrieking cries of agony,
yearning to be felt…

Every new eternity I revisited loves grave through conversations with you,
laying red roses upon its still freshly dug soil, but leaving no sooner than I arrived,
as if the cemetery had visiting hours which were always too quick and never long enough.

But… one day all this changed, with a gentle whisper you said you loved me.
You uttered my name from your divine lips and said you loved me.
Softly as if not to wake the dead, yet my love was never dead and those
words worked upon the fault-line that is my heart and the earth shook under my feet.
I heard the shattering shrieking of the breaking of iron chains, I heard the splintering
of mahogany wood and witnessed the ground open up before my eyes…

Love walked up to me non-nonchalantly as if never buried for eternities and he touched
my chest and burned my heart and entered my body, he moulded like hot particles of metal
being cast into a Siamese twin with my soul. Love became inescapable.
You took me to the point of no return with a single utterance of my name and those three sacred words
strung together like a garland made of stars… endless, bright and burning in the darkness.

You said you loved me.
You said you wanted me.
We imagined beautiful eternities of happiness together and took my love to points of no return.
Theres no going back… love cannot be burying again without taking my soul with it…
Stuck in the limbo of your love…

do I keep walking towards you?
Will I be able to place my fingerprints upon your heart?
or… do I perish and become dust where I stand?

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